I want to preface my opinions in this blog post. I love Will Farrell. I love Mark Wahlberg. Farrell has the power to at least get me to consider seeing any movie he's in. I'm not sure what my problem is, but Mark Wahlberg's mere presence even as a producer is enough to almost guarantee that I will watch a film or TV series. I don't hold any illusion that he or anything he touches is any good, but I like a lot of things that aren't good. We all do. If we didn't have that problem, there would be no obesity, no infidelity, no substance abuse.

Ok, so I don't get to many movies when they come out because I'm boycotting the theater in the city where I live. This means I also usually forget what movies were in the theater by the time they come out on video. The other day I wanted to watch some movies, so I did a quick google search of "best movies of 2010" to get an idea of some things to watch. The particular list I first looked at listed "The Other Guys" as one of the best movies of the year. I remember seeing some of the trailers and it looked interesting enough for an ex-movie whore like myself.

While Farrell can be pure genius when paired well with a co-star and Mark Wahlberg didn't disappoint in entertaining me by playing pretty much the same guy he always plays, this movie was painful. I love pretty much any movie I watch. Some are good. Some are terrible. But if I'm entertained, I'm happy. I despise snobs that pretend like they know everything about cinema and writing and will get into some horrible debate about the cinematography of "The Big Hit" not being up to snuff. Or whining about how the writing in "Transformers" just didn't cut it. (Don't get me started on the people complaining that Megan Fox can't act. I could write a book about the stupidity of that "debate".)

I'm trying to get to a point here, but I REALLY want to make it clear how easy I am to please. Here is a list of terrible movies that I LOVE:

1) Hackers
2) Max Payne
3) The Big Hit
4) Better Off Dead
5) Transformers 2
6) ALL the Underworld movies
7) Several movies off of Rotten Tomatoes' 100 Worst Movies list

If you entertain me, I'm happy. Plain and simple. But the writing was just so awkward. The story line left me thinking "Who cares?" for 90+ minutes. There were no redeeming qualities about the characters that were written nor about their lives in this story. Several half jokes were left without a punchline. It looked like I wrote the movie. If I wrote a movie, I'd have a million great ideas, but my A.D.D. would kick in and I wouldn't finish a single joke, wouldn't close up a single loose story end, wouldn't connect character relationships. It almost looked like a guy wrote a movie full of inside jokes shared by him and his 2 friends.

Considering how awkward so many of the interpersonal relationships of characters were and how disjoint the story appeared, I'm pretty sure the writer was an 11-year-old boy and/or a serious social pariah. The entire story is how I'd write a story about people if I never knew any people other than my family and two other outcast friends.

Movies are supposed to suck you into a fantasy world for an hour and a half or more so you can forget about your own crappy reality. Movies that don't do this just annoy me. Watching this movie was akin to trying to sleep after drinking 19 Red Bulls and having chronic nightmares about flying Skittles. It was just so strange and unbelievable that I kept getting violently yanked back into reality by my own brain wondering, "What the hell is going on here and why do I care?"